Go Big or Go Home

Boldness is Rewarded – How to rub shoulders with the stars

Have you ever wondered why some people seem to always be with the cool crowd? Ever wonder why some people are at the best events and rubbing shoulders with the stars? Sometimes it is who you know, most often it is up to you.

A great friend of mine was traveling from Los Angeles to Orlando. There was a buzz on the plane, “Patrick Dempsey is on the plane” she heard people whispering. Katie said to herself, “If I don’t ask, I don’t get.” She walked back up to first class from economy squatted down in front of the dreamy doc and said, “Hi I’m Katie. I’m from Australia.” She paused to let him take it in. “Can I take a photo with you?” The man in the next seat took the camera from her hands as she sat in Patrick’s lap for the moment to be immortalized. “Thank you. You made my day.” Katie said as she left him in peace for the rest of the trip.

Not a single other person of the plane got his photo. Not even after Katie did it first. Only Katie got the photo op with McDreamy because she overcame the fear of possible rejection or embarrassment and she asked for what she wanted. How many times had you wished that you acted like Katie? How many times did you miss the opportunity to get a photo, go on a trip, take a job, or start a relationship?

I was at a conference to learn from Internet marketing genius Frank Kern. I didn’t realize how many stars were at this event. It was a who’s–who of several industries. At the lunch break I was walking out alone and heard someone in front of me say, “Let’s go to that Thai restaurant we ate at last night. It was amazing.” I love Thai. So I asked, “Can I join you?” Nobody said no, so I took that as a yes. I followed them for four blocks. As we were walking there I realized who I was walking with. It was John Assaraf from the movie and book The Secret, Brendon Burchard, author of Life’s Golden Ticket and founder of Experts Academy, and other superstars with their entourage who prefer to keep their privacy.  It was a fabulous lunch and conversation that made connections for me that only happened because I took bold action and invited myself to lunch. Was some of it good luck? Certainly, but without taking bold action it was nothing.

Boldness gets you noticed. Boldness gets you goodies that others wish they had. Boldness keeps you moving toward your dream. Don’t stop and think, “What if he says no? What if I embarrass myself? What if I fail? What if they don’t like me?” Stop being a wuss. Stop projecting what others may or may not do and go ask for what you want. Sometimes it doesn’t work, and when it does work it gets photos with stars, dinner with icons, and friendships or business connections with amazing people. Who knows, maybe even the love of your life.

Life is short, Live Full Out!

Everywhere I go people remind me of Lao Tzu’s quote, “A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.” My journey is about a million steps in a run from San Diego to New York City.

This past week was the last rest week I will have a “rest” day off for almost a year. No more missed training runs, no more excuses, no more accepting second best. There is less than six months before I start running from San Diego across the desert and mountains to the east coast. It is going to be an amazing journey of 100 marathons, 100 seminars, in 100 days. It is called, Dream Big, Act Big! And I must train every day to get ready.

Each day I will run an average of thirty-two miles and then give a seminar. Some days I may give a seminar and then run. This will continue for 100 days until I arrive in New York City and end my run on the morning news shows on Friday June 3^rd.

Here is the challenge. I am not a runner. I just started running a couple of years ago because I wanted to do a triathlon. So my training was swim a lot (I like swimming), bike some (I like biking some), run once or twice before the race (I didn’t particularly like running).

This January was the first time ever that I started taking my running seriously. ‘Seriously’ has great latitude for interpretation. This year my run training would be sporadic until 10 days before a race, and then I would run every other day. Most runners taper down before a race, I would do the reverse. When the race was over, I took a week or two or three off.

This year for the Lake Placid Ironman, I did run regularly. Mostly short runs under of 5 -7 miles to complete a marathon at the end of a 140.6 mile race. What was I thinking? I finished Lake Placid in 15 hours and 21 minutes. It is a slow time, and yet, I know I can push my body to its physical limits.

It seems to me that running for only five or six hours should be easy. My friends and coach laugh at me. They think I am unrealistic. Has anyone ever told you that your idea is unrealistic?

One thing I know for sure. Nothing … I mean nothing will stop me from finishing. Will I finish with only a five or six hour run each day? We’ll see. My goal is that by the time I get near the northeast I am running about a three-hour marathon pace. I am going to push for everything I got to make it happen.

Why? You might ask. Why would a person push himself or herself this hard? Most say, “life is short, take it easy.” I say, “Life is short, live full-out”. Your life can change at any moment. So give it everything you got. Stop waiting, and stop procrastinating! You will regret everything you did NOT do. I do not want sit in my rocking chair, look back and say, “I wish I would have done that crazy run thing across the country. That would have been so cool.”

“There is no time for mediocrity, there is just no time.” – Shevaun Voison, Editor of Motivated Magazine.

How do you know what to do first?

When was the last time you had an “oh crap!” panic moment? You know, the moment when you realize you have to get something huge done, and are now down to the wire on making it happen?

That happened to me last night. My friend Dave Wheeler, “The worlds most creative person” was over for dinner and we were chatting about my Dream Big, Act Big! run across the country. And then we started counting how many months I have left. I thought I had 7 – 8 months left.

Two grown men counting on their fingers like preschoolers. “September, October, …. That can’t be right. September, October, … Oh crap!” I just crossed under the six-month timeline before I leave San Diego on my running and seminar journey across America.

100 Marathons, 100 Seminars, 100 days ... What can you do in 100 days?

There is so much to do it is overwhelming. At least, when you let it. I was coaching some clients this weekend in a private Mastermind Summit with my colleague Heather Hansen O’Neill. I told them to take the most important step first and the next step will be revealed. I was asked, “what if you don’t know what the most important step is?” Great question. I found myself saying that this morning as I was planning Dream Big, Act Big!

I had to take my own advice. Ask yourself, “What is important to do (no order, just write) that will move me toward my goals?” Put them on a capture list and then take those items and prioritize them. Do the most important thing that you know needs to be done. And then move to the next one.

So often the fear of the unknown paralyzes us. Will your list be perfect? Of course not! It is the best list you have at the moment and it will include very important things to be done. So get to it! Other important steps will be revealed and you can adjust and re-aim towards your goal.

Taking action on anything that moves you closer to your goal is critical. Whatever you do … do something that moves you in the direction of a life on your terms.

BTW, what did I do first today? I spent 20 minutes of quiet time mind mapping what needs to be done next. I organized the 3 most important things I could think of and got started. I researched and sent out emails to people who may be able to help me. I am running alone, but this is not a one-man show and I am reaching out to people who can help me figure this out. Then, moved on to the next and then the next. At the end of today, I will be closer than I was this morning. As Confucius said, “It does not matter how slow you go, as long as you move forward.”

Move forward!

Wisdom Tooth Wisdom

Lessons are revealed in the most interesting of circumstances. Seemingly mundane annoyances become profound life lessons. What possibly could a tooth extraction teach you about life?

For two years I’ve had a broken wisdom tooth. My dentist, Dr. Jacobs would tell me to get rid of it every six months when I would see him. I kept making excuses. I’ll do it after the holidays, I’ll get to it after my marathon, I’ll get to it when … the list grew each time I would see him. The tooth was shattered above the gums and yet it caused me no apparent pain. Dr. Jacobs would shake his head and warn me about the potential for disaster if I don’t have it removed.

I shuttered at the idea of having my tooth removed. After all it has been there 39 years. I am fondly attached to it. I am also horrified by all of the grisly stories I have heard about wisdom tooth extraction. The stories of pain and anguish. The tales of extractions gone bad. The fables are commonplace and unnerving.

I let others program me to be afraid of pulling one little tooth that I do not need. After all, I scuba dive face to face with bull sharks, I skydive from 14,000 feet and I am an Ironman triathlete. This is so uncharacteristic of me to be afraid and not take action. And besides, wisdom teeth are completely unneeded. So what’s the big deal?

We are programmed from birth. All through our lives others influence us how to feel. Sometimes intentionally and sometimes accidentally. Advertisers want to program you to buy their stuff. The news programs you to believe that there are only negative events in the world because that is all they show. Your parents programmed you with their beliefs because it is what they were taught and how they view the world.

Was swayed by hearing dozens of tooth horror flicks and people convinced me that my experience would be the same. Admittedly I am not a fan of the dentist. Sticking sharp objects of destruction in my mouth to prod and dig through my teeth and gums make me gag. So I played right into the social hypnosis.

Finally because the tooth broke even more I was forced to take action. No longer could I put it off. I made the appointment and ended up in the dental chair looking up at the bright light. Expecting for him to say that all four wisdom teeth need to be pulled, I held my breath.

The specialist Dr. Gideon looked into my mouth then looked at the xray and said, “You teeth look good, except for that one. It looks like an easy pull. Lets do it under local anesthesia and you will be out of here in no time.” Not a second of doubt or hesitation in his action plan. His confidence instantly calmed me and I said, “do it” as if I never had any doubt.

Fifteen minutes later, the tooth is gone, I didn’t feel a thing and it is over. But where is all the brutal punishment? What no battered mouth? I don’t look like Rocky after a fight. And this is less pain than cavity repair. My healing was just as painless. What’s up with that?

I worked myself up into a fury for nothing. I allowed others to influence my thoughts so significantly that I did not take action on my health for two years.

How many times have you let others tell you what you should or should not do?
How many times have you believed others when they say something ‘will never work’?
How many times have you given up on your dreams because others have said you are not good enough?

Wouldn’t it be better to have people say, “that is amazing” in support? “You would be awesome at that.” “Go ahead and do it, I will be here and help you any way I can.” Most people do not have people like this in their lives. And yet every one of us should.

Keep company with people who raise you up. Find people who inspire you and you inspire them. Hang out with people who think anything is possible. When you surround yourself with positive and uplifting people your life will rise to higher elevations.

Life is about the possibilities … about excitement … about adventure.
Live your life to the fullest. There are no limitations!

[Please comment below. Love it? Hate it? I want to hear from you and I always respond.]

Life’s Golden Ticket

If a book can change your life, and I believe a great one can, this is one book you want to read. Sometimes you come across a book you simply cannot put down. It captivates you from the moment you start the first words and keeps you hanging on until the end.

Every once in a while you get a gift that is so profound, it can alter the course of your life. Last week I got two books in the mail. I didn’t order them, and I didn’t recognize the return address. I ripped open the bubble-protected vanilla shipping envelopes encasing the books with the haste of a child on his birthday.  I didn’t recognize the titles of either book. And then it happened.

A pastel yellow piece of paper fell out of the envelope with a note. “This is important! Read this before you come to San Diego. I’ll explain later.  – Frank and Trey.” When first read, it had a mysterious tone. The second envelope had a note that read, “I love this book and figured you’d like it too. Enjoy.” It was also from Frank and Trey.

I got this before going to Cali to spend two days with the best Internet marketers in the world. Frank Kern and Trey Smith. First, you study an extensive online course and then go to a weekend training seminar. Frank has already given way more value that what I paid for the course, and I paid a lot of money to be a part of the training program.

Frank is known for his bonuses and giving much more than what you expect. These books are one of his gifts. And I am certain that there is a significant reason that he is spending thousands dollars to send these out to his newest clients. Knowing this, I am eager to find out why. Here is the reason this particular book is so spectacular.

Most books teach by preaching or instructing what to do, especially in the personal development world. This book is different, it’s about a man looking for answers. The main character’s wife was in a terrible accident and he must know what happen to her. He sets out into a journey into a world that is unexplainable. Before he can find out what happened to her he must find out what has happened to him and conquer his own fears and failures.

What makes this book spectacular is that you are hanging on almost every sentence. Each chapter builds from one to the next. You will get lost in the book and experience it as if you are the main character. Many of the events that happen to the character parallel events that have happen to you. While you are mesmerized by the story, you learn or are reminded of crucial lessons of life.

If you are still with me, by now you must want to know what book I am talking about. The author is Brendon Burchard and the book is “Life’s Golden Ticket.” You can find it at Amazon here. Pick up a copy and let me know how much you loved it.

You might be wondering why I am so inspired by this book. First, as an author (see my book BetterBody BetterLife here) now working on my second and third book, Brendon’s book is a perfect book to model because it also has all the right elements for a great book. The story and writing is simply amazing. The other reason that I am enamored with the Life’s Golden Ticket is because of the lessons it teaches about overcoming adversity and how you have the power to create the life of your dreams. Lessons that we all need and must be periodically reminded.

Pick up a copy and fall in love with the story and let the magic of a book change your life.

What Should You Write In Your Blog? Stop Being a Wuss!

Have you ever decided NOT to post something on your blog or Facebook feed because you thought it was too personal or thought it might offend someone? Stop being a wuss and write from your soul.

Should you post everything to your blog or Facebook page? I say yes with only one exception.

You can’t please everyone or even most people. And when you try, you lose who you are, to placate the masses by trying not to offend or be judged. When you stay safe, you say nothing. Be comfortable in who you are, knowing that your thoughts are powerful and meaningful and you will attract like-minded people.

What you see is what you get. It’s who I am and who I want to be. I’m no longer concerned with whether someone dislikes me, my writing, or my opinion. If someone likes me, they stick with me. If they don’t they have the ability to unfriend me and not read or watch what I do. As we do with others – and I do, especially toxic people.

I used to be hesitant about what I wrote, not wanting to offend anyone. I would ask a trusted friend to review a post for before I published it and most of the time he or she would suggest a change because it might “offend someone” and suggest some ‘safe’ advice. Over the last few years I sought out the best mentors in the world. That training got me over that limiting belief. I started being who I really am, who I want to be, and who I want to become.

“When you are centered, other people’s opinion of you will mean less than your opinion of you.” – Marshall Sylver.

The result – You’ll find more friends who are like you. They will support and embrace you. Keep company with people that make your life better and make you feel even better about who you are. You can only do this by being real. You are an amazing and perfect person. When you are confident to act and be who you truly are, you will attract the kind of people you need and want in your life.

You might be wondering what I don’t post or write about. I find it odd what some people love to post. You’ll never see me post about farting, bio breaks, eating fast food take-out, or playing Farmvile. Here are my criteria to post. It must be (one or more) empowering, educational, uplifting, motivating, inspirational, helpful, thought provoking, life changing, funny, or action oriented … oh yeah, and purposefully controversial.

Warning: I find it despicable when someone posts something that is hurtful, mean, racial, or vindictive to another person or group of people. If this is you, grow up low-life. We are here to make others and our lives better, not tear them down.

Write about anything and everything you want, unless it is going to hurt your career (if you want to keep it). Come to think of it, if you have the desire to write about something that would hurt your job status, you might be in the wrong job. Fact is, if you don’t LOVE what you are doing, then you ARE in the wrong job and you need to start making an exit plan from it and an entry plan into your ideal career.

The previous two paragraphs have sentences that would have been suggested that I don’t print because that would have been the ‘safe’ thing to do. Go ahead and write about what you want. Playing it safe never got anyone very far.

Take Inspired Action and Miracles Happen

All of a sudden you get this urge to do something. Do you do it? Or do you think, ‘I’ll get to that later’? If you listen to your intuition and take that inspired action, you will often find that amazing doors are opened in your life.

All of a sudden you get this urge to do something. Do you do it? Or do you think, ‘I’ll get to that later’?

When someone is very successful, others often balk about it and say something like, “that always happens to her, she is so lucky!” Yes, this is true. It is true because she welcomes those open doors in life. In fact, she is probably encouraging them to come her way.

Would you like to have more fabulous things serendipitously happen in your life? You can. Taking ‘inspired action’ is one way how. I have to warn you first. While this is an extremely powerful way of meeting new people, wealth, happiness, and adventures, it is also a risky one. So make sure you read the whole article.

First the fun stuff. My friend needs to go out to the store, so she heads out. On her way she gets a desire to stop at Starbucks. While in line the guy next to her strikes up a conversation. She wouldn’t typically do this, but today decides, why not. It turns out that this guy is looking for a new assistant. My friend is looking for a new job and she is perfectly suited for his business. She goes for an interview and my friend gets the job making ten thousand dollars a year more than her last job. A job that she hated. Her inspired action was to stop for a coffee and then talk to the guy next to her.

This happen to me just yesterday. Its early afternoon and I have to run a couple of errands. I don’t normally leave the office in during the day because I don’t get everything done when I do. But, yesterday, I decide to go. A couple of these errands I need done are very important. So off I go so I can set my mind at ease.

I first stop at the market to pick up a cake for tomorrow’s party. I get there and ask if the cake is ready. They can’t find the order. I say, “It is not suppose to be ready until 5pm” thinking that maybe it is on the oven. Nope, not there. The baker says, “I remember this order, you came in yesterday morning.” She looks through the order book and finds it. Under tomorrow’s order schedule. It would have been too late. She said, we will get on this immediately and it will be ready in a few hours. Phew.

A disaster was averted because I took inspired action. If I had waited until the end of the day to pick up the cake, nobody would have been there to make the cake that was mis-scheduled. How do you get a half-sheet cake made for the next morning when everyone has already gone home? You probably can’t. My inspired action saved the party, and a massive headache.

There is a process for taking inspired action. First you get the urge to do something out of the ordinary and then you take action to make it happen. You need both to make miracles happen in your life. The door may open, it is up to you to walk through it.

WARNING: This is where it can get dangerous. Sometimes your urge to do something is an inspired action and other times it is procrastination. If it is procrastination, than something less important is taking the place of something more important. Miracles don’t happen when you are out of sync by doing less important things first.

Fear typically shows in the form of procrastination. You decide to clean the house instead of having the overdue conversation with your spouse. You decide to run an errand instead of doing the important work project that will make your career. You decide to jump on Facebook to check in with your friends instead of [insert your important thing here]. Doing busy-work is a non-confront. If you are ‘too busy’ with this or that and you don’t get to the important conversation, work, or action, then you can say, “I was too busy.” It is never a matter of being too busy; it is always about not doing the most important things first.

So how do you know the difference between INSPIRED ACTION and procrastination? Here are some clues. If you get up to go for a coffee or the bathroom every time something important comes up, it is likely a non-confront in the form of procrastination. If you always decide to get ‘one more thing done’ before starting a big project, it is likely procrastination. Fear and procrastination typically follows a pattern. It shows up in your life the same way over and over.

On the other hand, if you get an urge to do something that you wouldn’t typically do, that is almost always inspired action and you should do what you are inspired to do. Then keep your mind and eyes open to new opportunities. Most books are started or finished this way. A few months ago a friend of mine decides to take the day off. There is a lot to do, and yet she has this overwhelming urge to go to her friend’s empty beach house and to refresh her batteries. While there she is hit with a burst of inspiration and she writes the first half of her next book in one stretch.

Next time you are hit with an urge to do something consider that it might be a life changing inspired action and follow your intuition. It often knows what you need more than you do.

Making all the Difference in the World with the Scotty Fund.

This past weekend I emceed the fund raising event Aspire To Inspire to benefit the Scotty Fund. As I prepared for the event, I asked myself, “How do I inspire people and help them understand that they can make a massive difference?” The answer came to me in this story.

You can make all the difference in the world

A little boy walks out on the beach in the early morning sun. He finds that thousands and thousands of starfish washed up on the shore over night. He stares at the starfish and knows that they will die in the heat of the afternoon sun if they do not get back in the water.

So the little boy picks one up and throws it back into the water. Then he picks up another and throws it into sea and another and another. He is doing this for a long time when his mother walks out on the deck. She is about to call him in for breakfast. His mother sees what he is doing and decides to walk down to the shore.

As she stands next to him she asks, “Son, what are you doing?” The boy responds, “Mom I have to save theses starfish before they dry out and die.” His mom says back to him in a soft and sympathetic voice, “Son, there are many thousands of starfish. You will never be able to throw them all back in the water. You are wasting your time. You won’t make a difference to all of them.”

The young boy looks up at his mom and responds in his innocent and innate childhood wisdom, “You are right mom. I can’t make a difference to ALL the starfish. But to THIS starfish” (… and he throws the one in his hand back in the water …) “It will make all the difference in the world.”

As much as we want to change the world and make everyone’s life better, we can’t. We can make ALL THE DIFFERENCE IN THE WORLD to a few people. Make a difference to those in your life by showing up and being fully present with them. Let your legacy live on by how you have touched others’ lives.

I believe that we live on after our time on this blue planet is over by how we have changed the lives of others and how we have loved. We live on by the “work” that we do, and by what we give back to the world. Leaving this place and time better than the way we found it.

What you do while you’re here is your legacy. Even a small action can have a massive result and make all the difference in the world to the people you touch.

I am pleased to say that Aspire To Inspire led by Heather O’Neill and an amazing team of volunteers raised over $7,000. The Scotty Fund supports families that have children with life threatening or terminal diseases. Read more about Scotty here.

PS,
It was an honor to be a part of this amazing event. Thank you Heather, Barb, Alison, and the team for letting me help make a difference with you.

It’s Not What You Said … Yes It Is!

Have you heard that your words only convey 7% of the meaning? The rest is how you say it and your body language. This is true when talking to others. What about when you talk to yourself or about yourself? Does this still apply?

What if you could change you life simply by changing the way you speak to yourself and about yourself?
What if your dreams just started to come true and it was all because of a simple change in your behavior?

When you speak to yourself or about yourself your words have a much greater impact. When you say something about yourself or your life or current situation your subconscious mind also hears it. It is your subconscious mind that is the computer of your life. It can only act on the programs that you install. Just like a personal computer.

If you do not have Photoshop (or similar) installed, you cannot edit your photos. If you have an old version of Photoshop, like I do, you can only do what that version of the program can do. The newest version may be the best ever and it means nothing to you because it is not installed in your computer. Some people are still operating their lives with Windows95 or Windows1.01 and some are even operating on an IBM 286. Remember that from the mid 1980’s?

It sounds funny, and yet this is exactly what people do. Most people never upgrade their operating system. And like a computer it gets worse and worse over time. More crashes occur, it gets more frustrating, and eventually gets abandoned. Relationships happen this way too. Your relationship with someone else and with yourself will eventually get discarded or breakdown to the point of no repair when the same archaic thought process keeps being repeated.

This is why IBM itself almost failed and died as a company. They were almost too slow to change away from mainframe computers. In the process they were on the verge of catastrophe.

It is often a catastrophe that brings someone to make a needed change, or upgrade in thinking. It seems like it happened in an instant and yet it had been happening for years, decades or a whole lifetime.

After 40 years at a job he hates, Peter reaches his breaking point and decides to leave the company. Yet he cannot because he is only a few years from full pension. The next few years are torture because he is now aware that he needs to make a change and feels imprisoned. Peter is likely to have a breakdown, get fired because his now indifferent work ethic, or the stress will give him a heart attack. Yes, this is a true story and happens all the time. Even if he makes it to retirement, he is likely to be bitter for the rest of his life, “Why did I stay there so long? I hated that job, I hated my boss, and I hated the politics? I gave up my life for that stinkin’ company.” This isn’t what life is about.

What does this have to do with your self language? Everything. You must continually upgrade your language to continually update the software you are using. For example, after doing something that might be ‘dumb’, many people say to themselves and out loud, “I am such an idiot.” Or when getting a performance review at work, “I don’t do well at interviews, and they’re not going to give me a raise, so what’s the point?” Your words are your programming can have a downward spiral effect. The more you say statements like these, the more your subconscious believes it, and implements it and it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. In other words, you make your reality come true.

More on your language in the next post.